"The trouble with born-again Christians is that they are an even bigger pain the second time around."

"The only thing wrong with immortality is that it tends to go on forever."

"I tend to live in the past because most of my life is there."

"Isn't it nice that people who prefer Los Angles to San Francisco live there?"

"The trouble with Oakland is that when you get there, it's there."

"All American cars are basically Chevrolets."

"The passing of an ordinary man is sad. The passing of a great man is tragic, and doubly tragic when the greatness passes before the man does."

"The whole secret of life is to be interested in one thing profoundly and in a thousand things well."

"Philanthropic people lose all sense of Humanity, it is their distinguishing characteristic."

"To save your world you asked this man to die; Would this man, could he see you now, ask why?"

"In order that all men may be taught to speak truth, it is necessary that all likewise should learn to hear it."

"Alimony is like buying oats for a dead horse."